Happy July 1st everyone! It’s crazy to think that we are in another month already. Welcome back to another day of Wednesday Reflections, another new column/post I’m trying to stick with on my blog. There’s a first time for everything, I was reminded this weekend.
Using my big girl voice in uncomfortable situations when I try hard enough despite how quiet and shy I can be at times
Taking selfies in front of 18th century mirrors & feeling awed
Getting dissed by a musician I have admired since my early high school years
Eating a Sprinkles cupcake and actually not being able to enjoy it completely for the first time ever because I was so sad from being rejected
Finally taking an Instax photoset I was 100% proud of, despite it still being no more than 4 photos (I normally take 1 or 2 during a day because I’m so thrifty with my film)
While I spent a lot of time exploring nature over the weekend, on Sunday I hung out in the city and finally walked around the galleries at LACMA. I’ve been to LACMA before, but only for a tv show screening of House of Lies where Don Cheadle was speaking. I can’t believe it took me so long to actually see the art work and ancient artifacts they have on display in the galleries. The main museums/galleries I’ve always attended are the Getty, or the MOCA. I never realized how much there is at LACMA. Rafael and I got tickets later in the day, so we only had less than two hours to look around. I really want to go back soon.
When I spotted the 18th century rococo mirror, circa 1760 Italy, I couldn’t resist snapping a selfie with my Izzislim iPhone case. When I looked into the mirror, I wondered how many faces from its original time period stared back at themselves long ago before me. If only I had been able to touch the glass and fall into the mirror and be transported back into the original room this mirror once belonged in. Oh, how marvelous that would be! Or perhaps a little scary, depending on what was really waiting for me on the other side…
Before even looking around the galleries, Rafael and I were actually originally there to hear Devendra Banhart talk about his new book, I Left My Noodle on Ramen Street. He also gave a small performance, but it was so packed, I couldn’t really enjoy myself. Waiting in the long line to even get into the venue was also not very fun because of all the annoying people and cutters I was surrounded by. Once inside, I could also barely even hear a word he was saying. There were obnoxious fan girls behind me and Rafael talking the whole time. They were basically only there to stare at Devendra, not actually hear what he had to say regarding his book. But it gets worse…After his talk was over, that’s when Rafael and I decided to get tickets and just walk around the galleries. That part was a lot of fun, of course. It was afterwards when the galleries were closing when we spotted Devendra, and Rafael encouraged me to approach him and ask him for a photo, despite me saying I didn’t want to bother him, because I’m just not a fan girl like that and I’m sure people bother him all the time. He’s not a god, he’s just a normal human being like the rest of us. Well, I should have listened to myself, because I caved in and what a complete fail that was!
I approached him at the wrong time when he was talking to two people and when I tried asking to get a photo with him, he just sort of gave me this look and motioned with his face/hands like, “no sorry, not going to happen.” At first the hopeful person in me thought he maybe meant, “give me a minute,” but he just went on talking to the people he was with and I was left there to feel like all my hopes and dreams had been destroyed. Rafael thought I was exaggerating a bit in my rejection and he teases me about having to write “essays,” about my experiences sometimes, but honestly, maybe if he had been the one to approach Devendra himself instead of asking me to do it alone, then he’d at least understand the embarrassment I faced. It’s also kind of funny, if I look on the bright side about it. Plus, I am a very open person and I am not afraid to share my feelings and life experiences with the world. Being a closed book is too dull for me. I am also a blogger, and this is what we do. Share with the world.
A bunch of people Devendra knew were also in the vicinity, and that made me feel even worse and more self conscious. There was actually a photographer there and he asked to take my photo of just me after I started to try and walk away from embarrassment, which was nice of him. I tried to put on my happiest face, despite me feeling like I wanted to crawl under a rock and die (only for the moment of course). Rafael ended up feeling somewhat bad afterwards and bought me a Sprinkles cupcake. It was chocolate peanut butter and it was delicious, but I was still sniffling as I tried to eat and enjoy it during the car ride back home. That’s when I snapped this photo with my phone with my Instax on my lap to symbolize this sad moment and of a failed photograph attempt.
Some people say the only one that can ever truly embarrass you or make you feel inferior is yourself, but honestly, I’ve always been an extremely shy person, and trying to talk or approach people I don’t know at all has never been an entirely easy task for myself. So maybe I didn’t have to feel as saddened as I did, but that’s just me, and three days later here I am still feeling kind of lame about what happened regarding someone I’ve admired since my early teen years. But there is a first time for everything, and whether it’s a positive or negative experience, what matters is that you learn from it and take it for what it is. Not all days will be perfect and not all days will go smoothly.